I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
