We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
