we have officially lost it.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
