You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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