Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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