Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
