evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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