You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
