Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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