Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
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Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
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No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
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