We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
