quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
