I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
