i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
All the doctor said was why
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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