No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
