omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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