Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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