Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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