im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
My breasts were aching with rage.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
