I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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