Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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