Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
