honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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