Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
