I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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