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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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