Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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