the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
