i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
