My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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