so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
