Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
