Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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