He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
