Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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