We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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