Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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