im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
