why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
