Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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