wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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