Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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