butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
