Got a toothbrush?
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
why is half of my head shaved?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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