Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
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