"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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