I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
My day in three words: secret purse cake
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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