i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do