he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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