fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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