I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
