I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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