We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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