I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
