It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
pray to the hookup gods
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
