I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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