dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
