he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
