So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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