it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
