Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize