hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Randomize
