sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
