Texts From Last Night

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight

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  (513): stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight http://tfl.nu/lu33
  Replies (9) Good night (5015) Bad night (1052)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.

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  (847): You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive. http://tfl.nu/z8kz
  Replies (19) Good night (7134) Bad night (1215)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.

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  (402): her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed. http://tfl.nu/jsdy
  Replies (13) Good night (1944) Bad night (3620)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome

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  (303): there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome http://tfl.nu/x7k0
  Replies (8) Good night (5052) Bad night (1395)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you

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  (505): i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you http://tfl.nu/pwks
  Replies (11) Good night (5567) Bad night (1456)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas

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  (208): Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas http://tfl.nu/3mqp
  Replies (7) Good night (4047) Bad night (781)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.

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  (513): The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk. http://tfl.nu/ersv
  Replies (2) Good night (3624) Bad night (798)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him

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  (216): there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him http://tfl.nu/zgop
  Replies (1) Good night (1193) Bad night (728)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?

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  (319): Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls? http://tfl.nu/s1mn
  Replies (14) Good night (1180) Bad night (545)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  What does puking wasabi feel like?

  (1-602): View more from Arizona

  Like snorting cocaine backwards.

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  (602): What does puking wasabi feel like? (1-602): Like snorting cocaine backwards. http://tfl.nu/l21m
  Replies (5) Good night (543) Bad night (1415)
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  (845): View more from New York

  i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend

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  (845): i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend http://tfl.nu/47gg
  Replies (10) Good night (1036) Bad night (492)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt

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  (757): I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt http://tfl.nu/qfiy
  Replies (4) Good night (761) Bad night (299)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary

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  (985): I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary http://tfl.nu/6z7x
  Replies (4) Good night (368) Bad night (307)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?

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  (908): My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER? http://tfl.nu/z2jy
  Replies (3) Good night (396) Bad night (241)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'

  (614): View more from Ohio

  omg so drunk

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  (614): I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen' (614): omg so drunk http://tfl.nu/cinp
  Replies (0) Good night (401) Bad night (237)

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