Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing

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  (313): oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing http://tfl.nu/2oov
  Replies (4) Good night (1819) Bad night (681)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head

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  (303): if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head http://tfl.nu/px1l
  Replies (10) Good night (587) Bad night (2659)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I can feel you judging me through the phone.

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  (703): I can feel you judging me through the phone. http://tfl.nu/i7dh
  Replies (14) Good night (1263) Bad night (3457)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.

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  (732): I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning. http://tfl.nu/m9jy
  Replies (13) Good night (5077) Bad night (748)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar

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  (616): They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar http://tfl.nu/bcnl
  Replies (37) Good night (1361) Bad night (9429)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.

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  (904): Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do. http://tfl.nu/m59t
  Replies (10) Good night (2152) Bad night (894)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away

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  (954): malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away http://tfl.nu/rorw
  Replies (10) Good night (3589) Bad night (989)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"

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  (419): apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty" http://tfl.nu/fxst
  Replies (4) Good night (2532) Bad night (812)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.

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  (802): No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said. http://tfl.nu/3y67
  Replies (11) Good night (614) Bad night (1412)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."

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  (615): I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do." http://tfl.nu/0gsj
  Replies (8) Good night (3655) Bad night (975)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.

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  (847): Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light. http://tfl.nu/vezf
  Replies (5) Good night (2698) Bad night (658)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.

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  (614): Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel. http://tfl.nu/hpfu
  Replies (6) Good night (2254) Bad night (575)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance

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  (617): thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance http://tfl.nu/zdkv
  Replies (10) Good night (2283) Bad night (693)
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  (951): View more from California

  You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.

  (1-951): View more from California

  This is the first time I'm hearing this information.

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  (951): You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you. (1-951): This is the first time I'm hearing this information. http://tfl.nu/wdlz
  Replies (20) Good night (3740) Bad night (623)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material

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  (+44): I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material http://tfl.nu/6zdu
  Replies (6) Good night (1398) Bad night (265)

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