Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
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the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
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drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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