Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
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